The Right Way or The Wrong Way

26 Dec

One of the things I love about old TV Shows and Movies is that there is always a moral to the story.  The Honeymooners was no exception and one of the shows we watched as a family.  It usually produced plenty of laughs.  The other day I found this episode, one that aired on The Jackie Gleason Show in 1955, long before I was born.  And true to form, it showed that your moral compass would show you the right thing to do, even if it painful for you to do it.

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values – that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality has spiritual control. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Sadly, greed, desperation, and lack of morals abounds in all walks of life, but it is unforgivable when it comes to adoption.  No one should willingly deny a parent the right to parent, least of all someone who is adopting a baby.  Unforgivable and far beyond the pale.  No state should design laws that deliberately deprive a father of the right to parent their own baby.
Not one single person connected to adoption should encourage this type of practice.  Yet I see complicit acceptance of unjust laws by inaction by most legislators, the adoption industry, and community at large. What ever happened to boycotts?  Rallying the community?  Making a difference?
There are two more articles scheduled to be published in the coming days.  Will you stand up and say Utah has it wrong – publicly?  If enough stand up, will it make the industry change its practices?  Isn’t it worth trying to educate those new to the adoption world that how you become a parent is just as important as becoming a parent?  That morals, courage, and honor matter most of all?
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. Mark Twain
And if listening to the stories brought forward by not just one or two fathers, but many fathers who have been denied the right to parent isn’t enough to make you stand up, then answer me this question. 
How will these parents teach their child right from wrong, if they themselves, do not know what is right or wrong?
We are like chameleons, we take our hue and the color of our moral character, from those who are around us. John Locke

Quotes from


Posted by on December 26, 2011 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics


Tags: , , , , , ,

5 responses to “The Right Way or The Wrong Way

  1. Jennifer

    December 29, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    Seems to me that if the adoptive parents knew the biological father was fighting for custody of his child – that they should do the right thing. Sounds like in both cases (Manzanares and Shaud) the fathers made their wishes known before the children were even born. It isn’t clear from the articles though whether or not the adoptive parents knew about this when they initially adopted. Very sad.


  2. The adopted ones

    December 29, 2011 at 3:38 pm


    When a prospective parent accepts placement of a baby, they must also have to sign a paper detailing that the placement is still “legal risk” if one parent has not signed or their is still time for either parent to revoke their consent. There is no way they are not aware of the fact. NONE…

    They are also completely aware that until the judge signs the adoption petiion that they are not parents.


  3. Jennifer

    December 29, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    Ah I see. Didn’t know that. I can’t believe (well I can believe actually) that they would proceed knowing the father wants his child.


  4. Jennifer

    December 29, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    They apparently must not realize their child is actually going to grow up, have questions, find answers and may not like those answers AT ALL.


    • The adopted ones

      December 29, 2011 at 3:49 pm

      But don’t you know – adoptees never grow up and become adults. Seriously though, this is something I have thought about for a long time. I can state that it would shatter my world not only because of the pain caused, but because my parents weren’t the type who had honor, integrity, moral courage that they had always shown themselves to be. Choices matter. Thankfully I have no doubts about my mom and dad.



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