They came for our mothers…

27 Jun
They came for our mothers, targeted one by one,
Society was their army, always present, always willing to condemn,
Words of shame and threats of what will the neighbors think were the only weapons needed then.
Our families sent our mothers away to protect the family name from public shame.
Stories fabricated why their daughters were sent away all done to protect their precious family name.
Our mothers went to maternity homes or distant relatives far, far away.
They told our mothers were how unworthy, shameless, and immoral they truly were,
Told adoption was their only salvation, and if they truly loved us they would give us away,
That babies deserved a mother and a father, not a poor unwed shameful mother.
They drugged and strapped our mothers down when their labor time was near,
They posted signs warning others – stay away, stay away, B.F.A…don’t you dare come near.
Not allowed to hold us, some not told they had a boy or girl, and even some that we had died.
Mothers told to go back home and carry on and hold your head up high,
Never speak of it, keep it secret, find a man get married and have another,
And today society still denies the damage caused our mothers during the time now called The Baby Scoop Era.
I was born one winter day, taken to the nursery, cared for, yet unloved, and never named.
No one there to celebrate my birth and on day four I too became a ward, yet another Baby For Adoption, one of millions, nothing special, nothing more.
Two months later I became someone new, named, a new mother, father too, and a brand new ABC – falsified to hide my illegitimate shame.
Yet that day, I also lost my mother, my father, my family too, long before I could give voice to my feelings and desires.
That day I also lost my right to know who I was the day I was born, or get my OBC when I was older – at least that is until the day the court deemed I too had good cause to know my history,
Still the victory is hollow, the price is far too high, and yet still others have gone, and others will go to their graves, still denied.
As babies we were so valuable, bargained for, advertised for, coveted, prayed for, paid for…
Told we were special, chosen, loved, lucky, cherished, theirs forever more!
That our mothers loved us so much that they willing gave us away to have “two” parents, not just the “one” mother we most desired.
Now as adults we are told our rights don’t matter – that our mothers are afraid and live in secret fear – that their shameful past will be uncovered,
That we will “out them”, and “cause harm beyond repair”, and just to add more guilt and fear upon us – that we will hurt our other parents too!
That our mothers will not want to know us, or know we are alive, okay, or even that we may live right next door…
So I ask society and the adoption industry too – which story you tell is true, that our mothers loved so much we were willing given away…
Or that they don’t love us and we make them so afraid, that one day we will come knocking, and that we might even want to know them too!
I was always told you cannot have it both ways, so from that I can only conclude – the adoption industry lies and I want to know which story is really true…
And now I see the signs that they are coming for unwed mothers once again, and in my heart I know it’s their healthy white babies which are the long sought-after prize…
Did they not learn from history that what they did was wrong, that the pain they caused never ever truly ends?
But to some it seems there is no price too high when babies are the goal, do they really have no shame to even consider bringing back the infamous Baby Scoop Era – yet again?
Interesting post on what is happening right now.  The GOP Agenda: Controlling the Means of (Re)Production

Posted by on June 27, 2011 in Adoption, Ethics


Tags: , , , , , , ,

7 responses to “They came for our mothers…

  1. Susie

    June 28, 2011 at 2:43 am

    This is the third time today I have come back to read this post. I have tried to formulate a reply each time, but words fail me. It is hauntingly sad to me in it’s truth. It angers me in it’s truth.

    It was the loss of my son to adoption that caused harm beyond repair ~ not the email that told me my son was looking for me. The day that I learned my son was alive, healthy, and happy was the happiest day of my life. It is the day that I began fully living again, a day, a moment, I will never forget. January 16, 2009 at 4:50 pm.


  2. The adopted ones

    June 28, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    Thank you Suzie – I was kind of shy to put it out there.


  3. shadowtheadoptee

    June 28, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    Sometimes it seems, the more things change, the more they stay the same.


    • cb

      July 1, 2011 at 9:47 pm

      That is true.


  4. Raven

    July 5, 2011 at 9:59 am

    Big Boss Grump…

    I have come back and read this blog entry at least a dozen times since you wrote it. It’s absolutely beautiful and describes how I remember the BSE so very well. Thank you for helping all of us to understand what really happened in our society during the “Greatest Social Experiment”, a time period when an estimated 6 million babies were surrendered by their mothers. As you so well know, many of us wanted desperately to raise our babies…but you know how it was back in the day for white, middle-class American girls and women.


    • The adopted ones

      July 5, 2011 at 12:24 pm

      Thanks Raven – it means a lot that you approve, it really does.


  5. Karen Wilson Buterbaugh

    February 28, 2013 at 6:52 pm

    Please visit my research on the Baby Scoop Era (trademarked) at Thank you.



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