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Choosing guardians…

03 May
Okay – I recognise and understand that adoption is different from guardianship, but has anyone ever considered how little actual information is in the parent profiles an expectant mother sees? 
Sure lots of fun pictures, big houses, vacations, religion or not, description by each spouse about the other, but is it enough?  Take a minute and google parent profiles and then pick a family to be guardians for your baby, child, or children. 
Would those profiles contain enough information to make an educated decision on something so important?  Would you trust the word of someone you never met before, when they said the couple you chose passed the homestudy, instead of needing to do your own research?
I doubt I would.  I would need to see the criminal back-ground check, the in-depth physical and psychological profile from their doctor they have gone to for quite some time, the credit report going back at least 10 years, their debt vs assets ratio including credit card debt, their home, their employment history…just about everything about them, before I would consider trusting my child to them.  Then they would have to be interviewed, short listed, re-interviewed by myself and other trusted family or friends. 
What would you require?
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2 Comments

Posted by on May 3, 2011 in Adoption, Ethics

 

Tags: , , ,

2 responses to “Choosing guardians…

  1. Sunday Koffron Taylor

    May 3, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    And this is why I have a hard time understanding the mother end of things…I would not – could not trust my children to anyone that I haven’t known personally for a very, very long time. End of story. It would just not be an option for me.

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  2. Dannie

    May 3, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    Oh Gawd, now you’re going to make me toss and turn thinking about this 😀
    I can only answer about that agonizing decision I recently made. I changed my mind 3 times on who I named #1 and #2 for Guardians if something unfortunate happens. Wow, I may not be able to articulate but let me try
    1. I obviously looked at Religion…..I had 4 families (behind my #1 which are my parents) that were more or less into the same denomination as I am. However, I ultimately chose my friend who more or less thinks along the same lines as I do, not too conservative, not too out there liberal….just a believer with common sense even in her pastoral role.
    2. I know she will honor my decisions in schooling and raising. So I wouldn’t be as anxious if I knew I was going to die.
    3. Her background is similar to mine (same culture, same family togetherness and LOUD and supportive even if lively discussions happen)
    4. I know her relatives….she is a little younger, but I graduated with her cousin….her mother and mine are similar even if not the ‘exact same on issues’
    5. She hangs out consistently with my daughter and is my go-to person if I need emergency babysitting (e.g. recent hospitalization with my dad….she came and watched little one in the waiting room)

    As you mention if an expectant mother looking at parent profiles can know all this, that just makes me go “aaaaahhhh” um no not in a split second….and now I’ll go be queesy because I know how much energy this whole “will/guardianship in case of/estate” thing took from me.

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