And when someone reads an article they should only read the article, not create rebuttals in their mind based on their life while also trying to read. It saddens me just how touchy people are about hearing anything less than the perfect story. But people need to hear the bad stories and the good stories. Especially in adoption there always has to be open minds to see what is broken and fix it for the future. To acknowledge past and current mistakes and ensure they never happen again. Why don’t people understand that is the reason why the hard stories are shared? Why can’t people just accept the story and stop picking it apart? Trying to find something to dismiss, negate, refute, silence and shut down? And yes, I am, talking about a specific article.
And article that speaks about the feeling of difference an adoptee might feel in their family is exactly the feeling Carlina White spoke of. She does not state being adopted is the same as being abducted, she states the feeling of difference Carlina had, is the same feeling she always felt. That is doesn’t matter if the child is adopted or abducted, the feeling of difference is the same.
She speaks of the way mothers were treated in the 50’s and 60’s and the role the agencies played. She speaks of tragedy of her parents dying and her book speaks more in-depth on the situation it put her in as a young child. It speaks to the fact that the agency noted her parents died in her file but did not think to contact her mother, which I am not sure on my feelings about except if they knew there were serious health concerns at the time of the adoption, did they have an obligation to step in to ensure her safety. I personally would hope they would and if there was no one to care for her to consider all possible avenues, including contacting her mother.
She does not say adoption is bad. She says how things can happen that can be bad.
And yet, the people commenting clearly read the story differently than I did. About how all adoptions are not bad to how mothers are druggies or abusers, not manipulated or have no rights, the entire gamut of reasons why adoption is pure and good and how dare she tell say otherwise. And some commented that all adoptions are bad. There are some genuine responses related to her story that are sprinkled throughout the comments, thankfully. But if you take the time to read the story honestly without your own bias, and then read the comments you will see how we fail as a society in reading comprehension and compassion. Or perhaps I read the story wrong. What do you think?