02 Feb
Over the last 6 years I doubted many times I would make it to today.  I did.  I am a fighter, a survivor, resilient, adaptable and able to accept whatever life throws my way.  I am celebrating a day 6 years ago I did not think I would see.  I am now officially ancient…  
And while I am celebrating this victory, I am also reflecting on that day so many years ago, the day of my birth and most likely the last time I was with my mother. 
And on this day since I was a child, I would wish I could meet my mother, even just one time, to see her face, hear her voice, and listen to our story.  That wish can never happen now.
So instead I wish…
1.  That every adult adoptee will soon be able to request and receive their Original Birth Certificate.
2.  That laws be enacted providing donor conceived and embryo adopted adults the same right wished above, to know where they came from.
3.  That any adoption only happens after all options of family preservation have been exhausted and is done with transparency, ethics, and morals as the only guiding principles.
4.  That the adoption industry would spend just a tiny fraction of their revenue/profit on educating both families of the adoptee on the absolute need to maintain contact regarding transfer of vital family health history.
5.  That coercive tactics, manipulation, and trampling of rights would cease to exist in adoption. 
6.  That fraud, an ever-present enemy in adoption would be fought by all and that all would speak out when they see red flags.
7.  That there were real penalties for the bad guys in adoption, jail time for starters and all monies be stripped.
8.  That secrets and lies in adoption were banished by law, not created by law.
9.  That all people understand that adoption has both loss and gain even in the best scenarios, and one is not cancelled out by the other.
10.  That an adoptee’s voice was never silenced, dismissed, negated, only because it does not fit with someone elses point of view.  Rather recognised as truth, their truth. 
11.  That any form of human trafficking could be eradicated, be it child laundering, donor driven, or sex trafficking. 
12.  That PAL (positive adoption language) be replaced with realistic, honest, language that speaks the whole truth that adoption is. 

Posted by on February 2, 2011 in Adoption, Ethics


Tags: , , , , ,

8 responses to “Wishes

  1. shadowtheadoptee

    February 2, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Amen, sister. Here’s to survivors and wishes coming true.

    Happy birthday, and many, many more to come.


  2. Susie

    February 2, 2011 at 7:21 pm

    I wish you a very Happy Birthday! I’m sorry that you were never able to meet your mom. I believe that she is indeed with you though, in spirit, in your soul.

    This is a great wish list ~ what a wonderful world it would be if these wishes could come true!


  3. cb

    February 2, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    Happy Birthday!

    Let’s hope that the above wishes come to fruition.


  4. b.

    February 2, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    Happy birthday – and thank you for sharing these wishes in a blog text.


  5. Von

    February 2, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    What an excellent post and such a list!!!I especially like 4, well I like them all but some stick out particularly because of the way you’ve expressed the idea.
    Very Happy Birthday and congratulations on joining the band of the ancient, it’s a place of great advantage and privilege.
    May I please link this, it’s so good?


  6. The adopted ones

    February 2, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    Thank you everyone – I honestly do not know what my life would be like without my on-line friends, a lot more lonely, that I do know. Today is shaping up to be one of my best birthdays…its all good.

    Von as always feel free – not sure how good it is but it was from my heart. I like the idea of great advantage and privilege – does that mean people will actually listen to me?

    B – thanks for posting and your posts will not automatically post.


    • b.

      March 6, 2011 at 5:11 pm

      Could you consider to let me use this text for a website project for families with adoptive children ? Of course with your name and blog link –
      Would you please contact me – I think the comment shows my email!
      Thank you so much


  7. Raven

    February 3, 2011 at 7:38 am

    Happy Birthday to one of my very favorite people in life! Welcome to the 50’s, my dear friend. This decade is a really interesting part of the journey, if you ask me.

    I love each and every point you made in the list. By the way, I can’t stand PAL—I’m not about to let aparents define who I am to my son…or who my son is to me. Heck, the PAL advocates don’t even acknowledge the word “reunion”—they want to call it a “meeting.” I’m surprised they haven’t replaced the word “childbirth” yet….



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