Daily Archives: December 22, 2010

Reasons and choices…or lack thereof…

I and many of the adoptees from my era were surrendered for adoption simply because our mothers had no choice.  Society deemed our mothers and us as bad, plain and simple the only solution was separation of mother and child. 
It was and is a reason I can understand and accept for my surrender due to the norms of society at the time.  I don’t have to like or accept how cruel and inhumane society was to our mothers, but for me, it takes the anger and blame away from my mother.  One mother cannot fight all of society to keep her child.
There is also the acknowledgement that based on the above societal dictates my mother was coerced and pressured to the point she had no choice but to surrender me.  Seeing how my mother had already passed on before we had a chance to reunite I have nothing to dispel this as my truth – my mother gets a free pass from any judgement or anger from me, the one not kept.
My question is how will the adoptees growing up right now and those yet to be surrendered in the future – feel when they are my age in this new era?
Personally if I knew my mother had found out she was pregnant and willingly chose to make an adoption plan (open or not) so she could finish college and continue on fulfilling her dreams whatever they may have been and blogged about what a wonderful thing adoption was…I doubt there would be a free pass from me.  I needed to know there was a real valid reason why I was surrendered…that if those reasons were removed she may have kept me.
Am I wrong?

Posted by on December 22, 2010 in Uncategorized


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