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November Adoption Awareness Month – Day Fourteen

14 Nov

Nis for Naming…

My original birth certificate lists my first name as Baby Girl.  According to the only paperwork I have, my mother did not name me.  No one knows if she had picked out a name.  If she did and it was changed to Baby Girl because I was surrendered I will never know that either. 

I cannot explain how much it hurts that I was not named by my mother

Today I read about mothers listing the names the prospective parents have chosen or a combination of the name they have picked out and one of the names the mother chose as the middle name on the original birth certificate.  I cry inside when I read things like this. 

A mother should name her child and have it listed on the original birth certificate.  Regardless if it will be changed at the time of adoption.  Naming is something incredibly personal between a mother and child – a sacred rite. 

It seems so inherently wrong to interfere in something this personal

 

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6 Comments

Posted by on November 14, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

6 responses to “November Adoption Awareness Month – Day Fourteen

  1. Von

    November 14, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    I so agree, it is something that is a mother’s right and names should never be changed.

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  2. Susie

    November 15, 2010 at 1:54 am

    I named my son and filling out the form for his birth certificate is one of the few things I clearly remember from my days in the hospital.

    Later, when I received copies of the legal paperwork regarding the relinquishment of my rights, he was referred to as “Baby Boy”. I can’t even think of a word to describe how I felt when I saw what they had done. I think that is what put me over the edge and into deep denial.

    I had nothing to give my son. Except his name. And they took it away.

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  3. cb

    November 15, 2010 at 11:11 am

    “Naming is something incredibly personal between a mother and child – a sacred rite”
    I agree.

    Susie, I’m sorry that they did that to you and your son.

    I do have a name on my original birth certificate but according to my information pack “this could have been either from your birth mother or the nurses at the hospital” so I will never know who named me.

    Even with my half bsisters, I am not too sure who named them either (I have a feeling it was their grandmother who did the naming; they were born(and died) on a Friday and were then buried on the following Monday; the names they were given were respectively their mum’s and a derivative of their grandma’s names).

    I think knowing what names my mother wanted to call her children may have given an insight into her as well.

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  4. The adopted ones

    November 15, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    Susie – that just sucks and it makes me think (hope – feel more wanted) that perhaps I was named too but its too late to ever find out. I just wish there was more respect and consideration given. I mean really, strip out the name? Sad.

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  5. shadowtheadoptee

    November 15, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    The name on my OBC was my birthmother’s last name. Ididn’t even get baby girl, which makes the information on my little green sheet of paper, written about in my post Nothing and Everything, a bit funny now that I think about it. At the top it said baby boy, but the boy was marked through and girl written above. Now, I’m thinking about the post I wrote about my non ID information being wrong, where I talked about the thought that I wasn’t my birth mother’s, and babies had gotten switched. Sheesh. No wonder Ihad such crazy thoughts.

    I’m fairly certain, my birthmotehr wasn’t given an option of naming me. I did askher once if she had picked out a name. She had. It was Kimberly Elizabeth. CB and Adopted One, I can’t really speak for your mother’s, but I’ll bet they had named you as well. Hugs to you guys.

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  6. Maru67

    May 11, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    After i told my son the circumstances of his relinquishment he asked if I named him. Of course I named him! I couldn’t help having that response, since I spent so many months picking a name that would fit HIM. I filled out the BC and went home to raise him, parenting him for eight days. I have the newspaper announcement of his birth that was published six weeks after he was born. I told the woman who would be his mother what I named him, although I realized they would change it, but he was led to believe I did not name him (also, that no one was sure who his father was, although I wrote down his father’s name, thinking they would need to send him papers, too; nope, didn’t happen). All I had left was him name, and to this day still refer to him by that name, although I do call him by his legal name.

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