If someone talks about pain they experience there is always someone to tell them they are wrong to feel that way. I do not understand that reasoning. Attempts to explain why another person must negate another person’s reason for feeling pain seem so, well for a lack of a better word, selfish, and more about them than about the person in pain. Pain is a universal feeling at some point or many points in our lives. It does not matter whether the pain is caused from being sick, poor, homeless, adoption, infertile, loss of a loved one, cruel comments, racial slurs – pain is pain. People have pain.
People negate another persons pain for no other reason than to make themself feel better and that is just plain wrong. Does telling someone to look on the bright side or to bury the pain make it magically go away? Perhaps for a short time but it is not a solution for life long healing. Having compassion and empathy and helping them work through their pain regardless if you can understand the pain, it makes a whole lot more sense. Sometimes sharing experiences with ways you coped may help or not, perhaps just being there sitting in silence or willing to listen helps ease the pain – but negating the pain will not. It took me many life experiences to fully understand that life gives us both and we all are impacted differently, what works for one will not always work for another but being a friend works universally. It took me a while to just be there for others but in a way I think it helped me grow into a better human being, less shallow, less fearful. Challenging myself to just allow the other person to process their pain, in their own way with me by their side – supporting them does amazing things for both souls.
Life gives us all the good, bad, the beautiful, and the ugly so we can appreciate the good times and help others through the bad times – understanding instead of preaching goes a long way in healing for all.