That it is okay to not like aspects in your siblings who you grew up but feel guilty and wrong to not like all aspects of your biological siblings you meet as an adult?
Is it because that makes my ‘dream‘ flawed and reality really is different and I just need to suck it up and get over it?
Because I talk about how much the biological connection means and in reality each of us is shaped by who, how and where we were raised? That the impact of life experiences as an adult shape who we are and expand those early childhood life lessons?
Because they ‘are‘ our sibling and therefore must be perfect? Because being ‘perfect‘ is mandatory? Why is being ‘perfect‘ mandatory? What happens if we are not ‘perfect‘? As a child it meant I could be given away again because they saw that fatal flaw in me that I could not see. Does it mean that if my sibling is not ‘perfect‘ then therefore ‘I‘ am not ‘perfect‘ and I am circling back to my childhood feelings of being afraid of being given away again but in a different way?
I have been extremely troubled by these feelings and can only conclude that it is normal to not always like all aspects of who your sibling is, what makes that person tick. Problem is, that is my logical brain talking – but my inner child’s mind isn’t listening. And that inner child’s mind has been with me a lot longer than my logical adult brain.