In my journey to know who I am I have found these truths.
I am compassionate but have my limits based on my own code of ethics and the conclusions the facts I see take me too. I can be compassionate to others as long as they are not manipulating others for their gain and greed and leaving only loss and pain. And even those who are manipulating others I can feel pain that they never found a different way to live filled with peace, love and joy and think if only they had someone in their life whose actions could have shown them a different path.
I will never quit learning and must continue to see and understand what I can’t see and understand now. If I quit learning and live in my own world only, then I am not living up to my code and fail myself. I must learn from every thing, person, action and reaction I come in contact with. I must choose to not wear blinders or put up defenses. In everything we learn there is something valuable so I must be open to all things.
I inherited the strength of will to continue on despite all odds. My ancestors had this strength to cross oceans with nothing more than a dream, a willingness to work hard and a will to survive. They learned a new language and still maintained their own cultures and religious beliefs while accepting the new cultures of life in this world. They succeeded, they worked, they farmed, they loved, they suffered their losses with strength and dignity and continued on. Their genes are my genes – their strengths my strengths. I will continue on as I always have.
I inherited the values of my parents through being raised in their world. I learned the value of working for what I needed and saving for what I wanted. I learned the lesson of being kind, being generous, helping others and the ability to listen to others without forming judgements. I learned the value of honoring all creatures and making room for all. I learned about unconditional love. I learned about love without judgement, simply love for the sake of love. I learned it is not who you think you are but rather what your actions and words say about you that truly denotes who you are. The ultimate value of a gentle non-judgemental voice in a sea of chaos that will change a person for the better. That a whisper in a dark angry world will change someone’s view and give them peace and open their heart and soul. That anger and pain coexist with empathy and love and that this world has its share of both.
That I can be angry at injustices and still be a good person and work towards harmony in my small corner of the universe.
That I will forever mourn for the life I may have had and yet if I had not had the life I had, I would not be the person I am today and would have lost out on knowing and loving the two people most influential in my life. That this statement create a discord deep within me and that is also a part of who I am.
That I can see the flaws in myself and find ways to change for the better.
At the end of the day I am just me – take it or leave it – I am at peace but will never be silent.