The thoughts below have been rambling in my head for quite some time and center around the disconnect of how some people always deem adoption to be win-win-win…but if they were to really walk in the other sides shoes they would see the pain and loss from a completely different perspective…just my rambling thoughts…some will get it, others won’t…
Have you ever thought that in a different reality with different social norms what would happen if…
All babies were placed at birth regardless.
A baby was given to a married couple who were proven deserving to be parents as noted below.
1. All potential parents needed to qualify they met the standards deemed necessary (insert married and of good ‘moral’ character) before they could parent, and undergo rigorous schooling, screening and profiling to be deemed acceptable.
2. A couple only became parents when all other couples before them in the queue became parents.
Where biological parents who refused to follow societies dictates were shamed for being too selfish for not placing their child so others – who were already proven to be the better person and/or ahead of them in the queue could parent. Where they were treated as the dregs of society and cast off and dismissed.
Where being a biological child who was not placed was deemed less than, teased and taunted with cruel words about not being good enough to be placed, or be accepted by societies perfect parents because they were flawed.
What would that norm look like? In our reality I think it mirrors the people who actively manipulate single pregnant women that they should place rather than parent for any of the standard reasons used for more than 50 years…