A day when we are supposed to honor our mother or all mothers. A day that fills me with conflicted feelings and yet I am also left feeling empty. I have no words explain this apparent disconnect. Perhaps part of it stems from my dislike of being told what I should do, like, watch, play, eat, look for, strive for, accomplish, create, support…versus what I want, need, crave and desire. For the same reason I find myself shunning the products of actors and authors that win the biggest praise, from musicians everyone else raves about. The religions that narrowly define the do’s and don’ts with no shades of grey. It seems sometimes that I actively do the exact opposite of what society tells me I am expected to do.
Christmas and birthdays also don’t get me terribly excited. They are just days like any other day with a couple of perks. I enjoy the Christmas decorations and carols, the getting together. I don’t enjoy gifts and the commercialism, the expected parts of celebrating either Christmas or a birthday. Because it is expected…
I think the main reason for why I don’t like doing what is expected is because it parallels the expected relinquishment of the child by mothers from the Baby Scoop Era. They were expected to comply and so many did because society gave them no other choice. So many lives scarred so deeply because it was expected that they do the right thing.
My wish this mothers day is that the USA and Canada will stand up and apologize to all the Mothers in North America that complied and did what society expected them to do. That they recognise the society was wrong in forcing their expectations on single mothers.