Tag Archives: family medical history
I know – two posts in one day. I over-did it yesterday and have done my best not to go lay-down and sleep because that will mess up my sleep tonight. This morning I followed a link from twitter and ended up reading the first link. I don’t know who provided the link, but reading it made me incredibly sad – not just the lies, but the mis-information that made it so much harder for Michael. It’s from 1999 and long to be published in the NY Times – about the era when I was adopted. Read the rest of this entry »
You are the first person to have commented on this blog from an identified adoption agency – thanks for being honest – do you know I actually look at who is commenting for the first time? Just one of my quirks. I know another agency follows this blog, but they don’t comment. Just in case you are wondering, here are the reasons why I am not approving your comment. Trust me, it is long so you may want to grab a coffee (or your choice of beverage). Read the rest of this entry »
I’m not against the intention behind creating Safe Haven laws. Really, I’m not. It’s the belief that mothers would only use them if they can remain anonymous, that I disagree with. Read the rest of this entry »
I loved the Ted Talk below when I first heard it, and intended to do a post on it. A couple of days ago, I went back and listened to it again, and still wanted to post it, but not only for the message Ernesto Sirolli has to say, but because it applies to how adoption is now practiced as well.
The entire adoption community, and specifically the ones in positions of power, would be well served to listen to what adoptees have to say, and then make it better. From understanding that PAL (positive adoption language) does not help the 7 year old who has been told that her “”birthmother” loved her so much she made an adoption plan” who translates that narrative into ”being loved means you are given away” or any other variation – all the way to how adult adoptees are treated, and everything in-between including the professionals, who have studies and papers that adoptees struggle in a variety of ways with being adopted.
Ernesto Sirolli: Want to help someone? Shut up and listen!
When most well-intentioned aid workers hear of a problem they think they can fix, they go to work. This, Ernesto Sirolli suggests, is naïve. In this funny and impassioned talk, he proposes that the first step is to listen to the people you’re trying to help, and tap into their own entrepreneurial spirit. His advice on what works will help any entrepreneur.
Ernesto Sirolli got his start doing aid work in Africa in the 70′s — and quickly realised how ineffective it was.
It appears though, that in the case of foster care alumni at least a few people are listening to adult foster alumni – and that makes me incredibly happy. I do hope they explore every recommendation in Maurissa’s report below.
I want to give a hat-tip to wackyadorablefamily because I might otherwise have missed the post and report linked below, and that would be a shame (going straight to the link, because I want to highlight the report below as well).
The post on CCAI Senator Kerry Introduces Bill Based on Recommendation from CCAI Foster Youth Intern is well worth the time to read, but Maurissa’s full report linked at the end of the post is detailed specifically on what can be done to help youth in foster care, and I hope you grab a coffee, and read it to the end.
Both those in foster and adoption would be well served to practice what Ernesto Sirolli learned…
And yes, I need to stay off Facebook
Once again, the adoptees who want things to be done correctly in adoption are thrown under the bus by both prospective and adoptive parents on a page devoted to adoption.
So many comments centered around (paraphrased): – My husband was adopted and only has positive views of his adoption. or Read the negative to learn what not to do because they bad parents. or Happy adoptees are too busy living their lives. or Those that feel like they have been wronged need others to agree with them….
Which by the way
To the first statement – So Do I…
The second statement - NO I did NOT have bad parents…
The third statement is offensive – I only WISH I could be too busy…
The fourth statement - not even going to go there…because I would probably be using the adage of pot meet kettle…
None of those “throw the adoptee under the bus” statements make unethical adoptions, sealed record laws, lack of current family health history available to adoptees, directive counselling with adoption as the end goal instead of non-directive counselling, adult adoptees at risk for deportation due to citizenship paperwork not completed, lack of post adoption support, lack of education about the challenges adoptees face simply because they are adopted, BAD things to speak out about.
If people DON’T speak out about unethical behavior, lack of foresight on behalf of the adoptee, protection of mothers and fathers, just what kind adoption world will we have in another twenty years? We have already moved from many things that were NOT acceptable in 1976 to being standard practice today.
At least bringing attention to the flaws in the system, and talking about it, is the first step in bringing back adoption to what it should be “finding a home for a child who needs a home” – not finding a baby for family who wants a baby. Note those two statements are not mutually exclusive but the primary focus is.
P.s. I am speaking about domestic infant adoption…