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Search query: “adopting an inferior child”

28 Apr

My advice to the person who searched with the above query:

DO   NOT   ADOPT

And if you don’t take the solicited advice I have given you, but choose to go ahead and adopt:

SHOW YOUR SEARCH QUERY TO:

1. THE PERSON CONDUCTING YOUR HOME STUDY; AND

2. YOUR AGENCY REPRESENTATIVE.

Seeing this did not make me happy…in fact, the emotions it created was intense anger, and deep unremitting sadness that someone who would use the term inferior and apply it to a child, would even consider adopting.

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25 Comments

Posted by on April 28, 2012 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

25 responses to “Search query: “adopting an inferior child”

  1. Daniel Ibn Zayd

    April 28, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    I started a whole item at Transracial Eyes called “Search phrases that give us pause”:

    It should also be called “Search phrases that leave me dumbstruck with anger” as well as “Search phrases that reduce me to tears”.

    But this one really tops them all.

     
    • The adopted ones

      April 28, 2012 at 6:27 pm

      Hi Daniel – I lurk on transracial eyes and generally come away thinking. Some queries are too much but this one made my jaw drop.

       
  2. Julie Shapiro

    April 28, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    Agreed. One can only hope that it was just a student doing research for a paper, but even that’s rather sobering.

     
    • The adopted ones

      April 28, 2012 at 6:32 pm

      Hi Julie, I didn’t think about a student researcher but that is a good point – I can only hope it was not a person considering adopting. No child deserves to grow up with that attitude from a parent.

      I did consider it was perhaps an older family member that queried it that way, but the likelihood of “older” and “computer literate” and not being aware of how insensitive that term is, made me think it was unlikely.

       
  3. sundayk

    April 28, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    Yep! That is disturbing…I get a lot of them like that….or are all kids adopted from foster care damaged? And the like…it makes me very angry…but mostly sad and scared for the kids who will be forever seen as second rate goods. Ugh!

     
    • The adopted ones

      April 28, 2012 at 6:33 pm

      Sunday – I would not want to see the search terms that come up on your blog. They definitely would make me sad for the future.

       
  4. gypsyqueen1

    April 28, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    My good gawd the madness never ends. I suppose those perfect pap’s are SUPERIOR than the rest of the human race. Get over yourself.

     
    • The adopted ones

      April 28, 2012 at 6:34 pm

      Hi – sadly some probably do which is so very wrong.

       
  5. momsomniac

    April 28, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    It’s interesting how no one ever thinks, “What if the child I adopt is waaaaay smarter than me?” Too bad too, because I could tell them something about that!

     
    • The adopted ones

      April 28, 2012 at 6:35 pm

      Mom – so could mom and dad (one of my siblings) – I was just devasted when that term jumped out. Still thinking about it, and probably will all day.

       
      • momsomniac

        April 28, 2012 at 9:22 pm

        It is devastating; I’m so sorry. I am just fascinated how the assumption seems to be implicit that an adopted child won’t be *superior* to one’s self.

        Me? I had simply hoped that a non-bio kid might be less stubborn than the rest of us. Alas, that was not to be. ; )

        By the way, I adore being called “Mom” in your replies.

         
  6. b.

    April 28, 2012 at 7:37 pm

    What, for heaven’s sake, are these people thinking? Even a student doing research could be expected to watch his language… What does “inferior” mean, anyway? To whom? Compared to what? This is so disgusting!
    I am sorry you had to come across this search query.
    B.

     
    • The adopted ones

      April 28, 2012 at 8:52 pm

      Good point B – there are so many differing reasons why someone would deem another inferior – just sad.

       
  7. Cassi

    April 28, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    My first reaction was “I can’t believe somebody would search that.” But then I quickly realized that I do believe it and shouldn’t even be surprised by it.

    It breaks my heart to know that adoption is sold as such a wonderful thing for children and yet, so often, those very children are the ones who live a life being seen as “less-than.” I suppose since adoptees rights are viewed as “inferior” to others, all else should be seen that way too.

    Yuck!

     
    • The adopted ones

      April 29, 2012 at 12:21 am

      It is really sad and it still is bothering me – hopefully I won’t ever see it show up agains- thanks for commenting.

       
  8. cb

    April 29, 2012 at 1:44 am

    What a weird and insulting phrase to use in a search. I hope it isn’t someone who has already adopted and their child hasn’t turned out the way they hoped. It could be someone using a deliberately awful phrase to try and find awful blogs.

    I have to admit it is scary that a blogger can tell what phrases a reader uses to find a page. I just did a search of the phrase (without inverted commas) to see what came up. One of the things was the Adoption History Project’s page on eugenics. I also found this study:

    http://www.ssc.wisc.edu/wlsresearch/publications/files/_private/Plug-Vijverberg_Schooling.Family.Background.and.Adoption.pdf

    - the search finding the following text:
    “8 The mechanism is built on the positive relation between ability and parental income.
    Low-income families and young single mothers face, on average, more difficulties to make
    ends meet and are therefore more likely to register their children for adoption (Medoff
    1993). Since components of ability are heritable, adopted children will be, on average,
    less endowed. An alternative mechanism would be that if parents could choose, they would
    probably put their inferior rather than their superior children up for adoption (Becker
    1991). Again, adoptees will be less endowed.”
    This is a footnote to:
    “With respect to ability differences, there is reason to believe that these differences exist and that children who are given up for adoption are, on average, less intelligent.”

    He’s making quite a few incorrect assumptions there, especially about the young single mothers. In regard also to if the parents could choose – I would think they would almost always choose the youngest because they would know that those are the ones that would find the best homes.

     
  9. Campbell B.

    April 29, 2012 at 4:44 am

    Makes me sad and frightened for their potential future children.

     
  10. veggiemom

    April 30, 2012 at 3:04 am

    Sometimes you think you’ve seen it all and then you see something like this. Sickening.

     
  11. cb

    April 30, 2012 at 3:44 am

    Just thinking more on this, when one has read an online post and can’t remember much about it but the topic, eg if they had read the Adoption History Project page where they talk about eugenics, and later they couldn’t remember the name of the website but just remembered them talking about “adoption”, “inferior children” etc, they might put together those words in order to try and find it again.

    I just say this because in the past, I have actually read offensive adoption blogs, forgotten the name of the blog and thus tried to find the blog again using offensive phrases I remember them saying and sometimes found other websites while trying to find the offending blog and I would hate to think that someone at one of those other websites saw my search and thought the phrase was my own opinion.

    Don’t know if that made any sense at all lol.

     
    • The adopted ones

      April 30, 2012 at 12:36 pm

      Yes it makes sense in searching for a post on an offensive subject.

       
  12. chittisterchildren

    April 30, 2012 at 5:26 am

    I work with a lot of people for whom English is a second (or third, or fourth) language. I could see them using the word “inferior” instead of “special needs” or another phrase that doesn’t translate directly.

     
    • The adopted ones

      April 30, 2012 at 12:49 pm

      I agree and there have been quite a few scenarios already pointed out. Any of them could have been the reason for the search. At the end of the day it still was unacceptable to use the term “inferior” when used in conjunction with a child – any child – not just one being adopted.

      What it did to me to read that was to remind myself of all the people who have become adoptive parents who should never have passed a homestudy – bad people who managed to fool those who are the gatekeepers of “in the best interests of the child”.

      I could have used the post in a far more broader paint brush indictment, but I chose to address them as an individual who is NOT able to see all people as human beings, who should be respected for who they are as unique individuals. That type of individual should never be allowed past the gate-keepers of best interests of the child, simply because a child raised as “inferior” is not being well-served.

      If that individual fit any of the above scenario’s then they will also have the rational brain to say – I did not mean that, and the post is not about me – I also agree that someone who believes a child is “inferior” should not adopt.

      I am the first one to let the wrong word/term pass – if you knew me you would understand how I understand that at a personal level.

       
  13. Heather

    April 30, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    Literally made my jaw drop.

     
  14. Snarkurchin

    May 4, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    I get…porny searchers. Is it because I cuss so much? Seriously, I’ve gotten ADOPTION RELATED PORN search terms. )-: I was going to do a post about it, but then I realized that would just be attracting more people who search for such things.

     

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