Questions to mull on…

Have you ever stopped and thought about how the fact that prettying up adoption language by using euphemisms, is in reality, a direct insult to your intelligence? 

How the industry has designed a whole new language that diminishes reality, and replaces it with a fairy-tale version that they want you to believe.  That perhaps because societal mores do not dictate surrender for unwed mothers anymore, that they needed to create another alternate reality of adoption, for their industry to survive?

Some words and statements in PAL are worse than others, but really stop and consider whether the words reflect the full truth, or are just cleverly designed euphemisms to “mislead or at least put a positive spin on events“?

A euphemism is the substitution of a mild, inoffensive, relatively uncontroversial phrase for another more frank expression that might offend or otherwise suggest something unpleasant to the audience.

Some euphemisms are intended to amuse, while others are created to mislead or at least put a positive spin on events – one of the more stark examples being friendly fire, which means accidentally firing at and perhaps killing troops that are ostensible allies.

I was thinking about the abhorrent “She loved you so much she made an adoption plan“, and how that phrase may come to be the next generation of adoptees most discussed phrase.  Do you think it will?

Now stop and think about the “birthmother” counselling.  Do you think that they “doublespeak” the different options the mother has, in words designed to steer the mother into realizing that adoption, is really the only option a good mother would choose?

“Doublespeak is language which pretends to communicate but doesn’t. It is language which makes the bad seem good, the negative seem positive, the unpleasant seem unattractive, or at least tolerable. It is language which avoids, shifts or denies responsibility; language which is at variance with its real or purported meaning. It is language which conceals or prevents thought.”

“The selfless mother chooses what is best for her child and realizing she cannot give her child everything they deserve, chooses adoption.  The selfish mother chooses what is best for her, and denies her child all the things they could have in an adoptive home.” 

Adoption equals selfless, Parenting equals selfish.  What other definition could you give to statements like above except “doublespeak“?

Does anyone honestly think that they tell mothers considering adoption, that adoptees don’t always “do just fine“?

That there are problems with identity? 

Feelings of abandonment?

Feeling not good enough?

The deep desire to know your parents, where you came from, and why?

That sometimes the trauma breaks the adoptee?

Have you ever heard of any agency having a mother make a list of what the child will lose, as well as her family, if she chooses adoption?  I haven’t, only what she cannot give to the child and what she will be giving up if she parents…sad isn’t it.

Don’t you think it is time to get all the lies, half-truths, and lies by omission out of adoption?

 

Different topics, lots of links…

In my reading ventures this week, I have found a wide range of topics worth linking to.

From the World of Adoption:

A post by an adoptee that gave me hope. 15th Annual Kids’ Adoption Network Conference.

Meeting another adoptee, who also just happens to be the blogger on Yoon’s Blur. Meeting new people (Mirror, Mirror) 

From the DC community and the Center for Genetics and Society:

Damian’s answer to comedy about donor conception – short, sweet, and to the point.

Link to Preview of Anonymous Fathers Day.  You can also view the full documentary on-line for a very small price – a couple of lattes.  Anyone considering DC or chose DC should be viewing it – sadly the cynic in me says that few can go outside of their own desires.  Prove me wrong.

From the Center for Genetics and Society. This blog post Bay Area Local News Reports on Asian Egg Market includes a video you must watch, but also highlights exactly what was left out in the video, but also failed to have the conversation on the impact to the actual individuals – the donor conceived. You really should watch this video. How far people are willing to go to have a child and how much they are willing to pay to get just that PERFECT EGG. You just have to wonder where this is going to end.  By the way – it is wrong and still wrong because no one put the donor conceived needs first and foremost, just like in adoption they are the last ones considered.

Again, from the Center for Genetics and Society this article that speaks directly to what was left out of the video in the above blog post.  Doctors Warn of Potentially Fatal Complications in Fertility Treatments.

Switching topics completely onto the reality of Pepper Spray and the OWS:

Do you have any idea how hot pepper spray really is?  I didn’t, and I cannot imagine anyone else does either.  This is nothing like touching your eye after chopping a hot pepper.  Must read.  Good to know in case you’re on the #OWS lines.  Do read the link in the post “excellent Atlantic roundup” as you will view the pictures and videos in that article with an entirely new reality of their pain, after you find out just how hot pepper spray really is.

Anthropology News has an interesting post on OWS from an anthropological view.  Occupy Wall Street; Occupy the World and a couple of interesting comments.

Onto the bizarre and amazing reality and beauty of nature:

Neat Videos of Octopus Walking on Land and the Super Stealthy Mimic Octopus. “In our continuing coverage of just how neat these animals are, check out this video showing an octopus taking a stroll on the beach at the Fitzgerald Marine Reserve in Moss Beach, California.”

I had no idea an octopus would ever get out of the ocean, just did not cross my mind, but how amazing to be on the beach with your kids and see this happen.  Well worth watching even if it kind of weird.  Apparently there are videos of walking sharks on this site as well, although I did not view them.

I saw the following photographs yesterday taken by Eric Hines, and have honestly never seen nature like this.  If you only view one link, this is it and it will take your breath away and leave you wanting more.