When I had to come up with the name of this blog, the only name I could come up with was “the adopted ones” – not terribly original, but one that I thought really described TWO things. One: the authors of the blog were adopted; and Two: that the “S” on the end of “ones” would indicate more than one author.
I could have called it two adoptees but I didn’t want to limit the number, as perhaps, we would want to invite others to join us in the future. It worked for me and made sense to call it “the adopted ones” further clarified by the tag line “Grumpy Old Adoptees’ Club”… you know more than one.
Apparently I was wrong.
Despite the above and choosing a design that has a box at the end of each post noting who the author of the post is.
Despite having a highly visible “Who’s Who” box on the right showing TWO different authors.
Despite my description on my Gravatar in the Who’s Who box stating “I was one of two adult adoptees on this blog”.
Despite the About section starting off with this: “ We are adoptees from the Baby Scoop Era. We each have our own story and views on adoption. Sometimes those views are the same, sometimes they differ but that is life.”
TODAY, someone who linked to this blog today assumes this.
“I read a post not long ago written by an adult adoptee criticizing adoption fundraising, criticizing adoption itself in a lot of ways.”
The post she linked to was written by Shadow the Adoptee – not me and did one of those selective editing jobs – you know taking things out of context to make it sound the way they want it to sound.
That post from Shadow was in response to my post on fundraising which was a whole lot more critical of fundraising than Shadows post – her post was gentle and delved into deeper thoughts, raising valid questions to discuss and consider.
For the record, I am the adoptee on this site who is the vocal critic of “adoption itself in a lot of ways”. ME – not Shadow. Shadow typically writes about her story – don’t believe me? – click on her in the “Who’s Who” box to the right and read her posts. Shadow is the one who tempers my voice and provides a different voice. The one who is the peacemaker and can see other sides better than I ever will.
If you want to bash one of us – I am your target – not Shadow.
Me, yes I am critical of unethical adoptions.
I am critical about how adoptees are being failed by the adoption industry.
I am critical that the adoptive parents are not standing up and actively supporting and talking to their legislators about reversing the laws that deny an adult adoptee their original birth certificate.
I am critical of anyone in the adoption world who denies there are real ethical issues that need to be dealt with in adoption and prefer to use excuses or God words to justify their actions.
Have I linked to posts where I have not read other posts on the blog? Absolutely, but I do not presume to know anything about the blog I linked to, and clearly identify my lack of knowledge about that blog. I don’t make an assumption about the blog, I just note about that specific post and my feelings like I did the other day where I said something like “this post gives me hope and asks a lot of hard questions with no easy answers”.
My question is: if you cannot see that there are two adoptees on this site, then how clearly could you identify if there were ethical problems in an adoption or with anything related to adoption?
This post was written by the one who is actually vocally critical of unethical adoptions – just in case you can’t notice the author box below this sentence.