20 Minutes…


Another TED Talk that has nothing, and yet, everything to do with adoption.  It will take 20 minutes of your time to listen.  I think you will gain far more in this fraction of your day, than you will the rest of day, even if it is just a really good reminder.

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Posted by on November 21, 2014 in Adoption


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Pictures and feelings…


Seeing pictures of family members that mirror you in so many ways…pictures of them doing things that you’ve always loved doing.

Pictures of siblings you should have grown up with. Seeing those pictures, knowing that if everything was normal, you should have shared memories of being part of that family, instead, they are complete strangers that in so many ways, mirror you. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on November 19, 2014 in Adoption


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Not just one story


It’s time once again to include my favorite TED Talk in a post.  This is the fifth time I have posted it over the years, so many of you have already watched it, but if you are like me, it’s always worth revisiting the message she offers in such a compelling way.  If you haven’t listened to the talk the rest of the post won’t make much sense…  Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on November 17, 2014 in Adoption


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Dear Adoptive Parents who are tired of Adoptees speaking up…


Have you ever stopped to consider how, and why things have changed in adoption from the 1950’s to now?  The answer to those questions begins with: But for adoptees being willing to talk about their deepest feelings, parents would still be parenting adopted children the same way adoptive parents were taught in the 1950’s.  I’m not saying that changes were always adoptee driven, but only that if no adoptee had ever reached out, or spoken up, there would be no impetus for change.  Change is scary, hard, unknown.  Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on November 14, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Analogy and #FlipTheScript on #NationalAdoptionMonth


I’ve talked about how my post stroke brain needed re-wiring many times over the years, and the struggles and loss it brought both to me and my family.  I’ve also experienced many people telling me how wonderful it was that I have recovered so much of what I had lost.  I’m at the point that you may not even realize I’ve had a stroke because you only see what’s on the surface, especially if you only see what is written and have no idea how many edits it took to get to that point.  Everyone had different terms to describe the progress; amazing, wonderful, miraculous, but few dug deeper to consider what never will come back.  For me, my progress is amazing from where it was.  I am thankful, ever so thankful.  But, I’m not thankful, or find it amazing – that I had a stroke begin with, nor that while I have recovered to a certain extent, that I will never be who I was before.

I think the above is a decent analogy on how I also feel about adoption, being adopted, living with all the flaws and loss that adoption brings.  I think it also does a good job of describing the disconnect between those looking in, and those living within.

It’s a completely different script.

Adoptees this month are working towards something similar to re-wiring but to the adoption community as a whole.  Talking about ‘all of adoption’, not just the view of adoption from the adoptive parent side.






Posted by on November 9, 2014 in Adoption


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Perhaps change is possible…


People know I listen to all sides, I listen to understand where someone is coming from, even if I don’t agree.  Like everything in life there are good and bad points on any side, especially in complicated subjects such as adoption.  I’ve written before about the Evangelical Adoption Movement.  I’ve read blog posts on T4A, that to me just didn’t make sense, perhaps in an effort at brevity they excluded what would make it understandable.  Having said all that – I’ve not been a fan of this movement for one specific reason.

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Posted by on November 8, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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